Overcoming Anxiety & Stress

Do you find yourself suffering from anxiety and stress? If so, you are not alone…

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH)…

  • The average onset age of anxiety is 11 years old
  • Anxiety is prevalent annually in more than 18% of the US population
  • Women are 60% more likely to suffer from anxiety than men
  • Black people are 20% less likely to suffer from anxiety than white people
  • Hispanic people are 30% less likely to suffer from anxiety than white people

The thing is that those numbers represent only the people whose stress and anxiety has been diagnosed as a mental or physical issue. For many who are suffering, it has not become a big enough problem to report to your physician, or your physician doesn’t recognize that the symptoms you have may be related to stress or anxiety.

The most prevalent types of anxiety and stress are PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and phobias. Although you may not be suffering from one of those, that doesn’t mean that you don’t suffer from stress, anxiety or both. Things such as worry about an outcome, including an upcoming change in jobs, housing or significant relationships, just to name a few can be very stressful and can cause anxiety as well.

The good news is that there are some simple tools and techniques that you can use to remove much of the stress, worry and anxiety in your life. Once you eliminate or at least minimize the stress and anxiety your ability to transform your life and create your heart’s desire will be much easier.

Most of us know that our lives would be much better if we eliminate as much stress as possible, but are you really consciously aware just how stressed you really are. For most of us, it takes some big event such as a lost job, relationship or health challenge before we even pay attention to the level of stress we are under. It creeps up so gradually, that we think we have everything under control until suddenly the crisis happens. In today’s high pressure, fast moving world, it’s hard to avoid stress and anxiety, unless you consciously take time to release that stress and overcome the anxiety.

WStresssed, Anxietyhen I was working in the corporate world as a computer systems project manager and designer, I worked some very long hours. It seemed that as a woman I felt the pressure, (I now understand that I created that pressure) to work harder and harder. At one point I was working for a consulting firm and I billed 110 hours for one week. That didn’t even count the non-billable hours that I worked. To put that into perspective, that works out to just slightly more than 8 hours per day that I had remaining for eating, sleeping, driving to and from the job and doing the required reporting that was non-billable. I got an award that month for the most billable hours and the following month, the company asked me to do something unethical and when I refused, they “Fired Me”. You see, no matter how hard I worked, I was expendable, so all the pressure I was putting on myself to do a good job didn’t make a difference in the end (that’s why I said earlier, that I created that pressure).

During the time while I was working for that company, I found myself so stressed out one evening, after a long and strenuous day, sitting in my hotel having shaking uncontrollabley. When they fired me, I actually went out and celebrated, I knew that it was a blessing to get out of that strenuous situation.

A few months later, after taking some time off, I found a new job. Because I hadn’t really healed my underlying self-esteem issues, I of course repeated the same pattern in the new job. They were actually more abusive than my previous employer, and I suddenly found myself once again sitting in my hotel room shaking uncontrollably for several hours. That night, was a major turning point for me. I was scared that if I continued working the way I was that I wouldn’t make it to my 51st birthday (I had just turned 50).  By the following morning, I had made a decision and laid out a plan to leave not just that job, but the corporate world.

Although my life has had many bumps and lots of learning through the process, I have no doubt that I would not be alive today, had I not made the choice to leave the corporate world. I didn’t know what I was going to do next, I just knew that I had to get out of that situation. I am much healthier and much happier than I ever was before I left that world.

Once I left my job, I began to look deeply into my life, how I had created such stress and what I could do about it to become happier and healthier. I studied energy healing techniques and even became a Soul Retrieval Practitioner. It was during that time that I learned the importance of Self-Love, Compassion, Forgiveness and Meditation.

The first step in getting stress and anxiety under control, before it takes over control in your life, is being aware of it and how it is currently affecting you.

Take a few moments, right now, grab a piece of paper and a pen and write out the answers to each of the following questions. If this list seems too long, set aside time to answer one or two questions per day until you get through the list.

  1. Are my thoughts focused on the positive or the negative? Do, I typically go to best case or worst case scenarios?
  2. What are my beliefs about what is required of me (at work, at home, by my family, by my friends)?
  3. Based on the above answers, ask yourself are those supportive of me and are they healthy for me to be the light I am meant to be in the world?
  4. Do I have any physical issues that are stressed related? Are my shoulders tight all of the time? Do I have frequent headaches? Am I tense and reactive/defensive?
  5. Is my relationship with my spouse or significant partner loving, understanding an compassionate? If not, write out what you would like that relationship to be like.
  6. Is my relationship with my family and my children stressed?
  7. How are my relationships with friends?
  8. How are my relationships with my co-workers and employer/boss?
  9. Am I judgmental of myself and my behaviors?
  10. Am I judgmental of others?
  11. Are my words about myself negative or positive?
  12. Do I berate myself?
  13. Do I allow others to berate me?

After completing your responses you should have a good idea what areas in your life need help the most. Then, consider how you feel about yourself, based on your answers in relationship to that area of your life.

Once you have those answers you’ll want to set out to very gradually make changes in how you feel about yourself, in order to change the area in your life that you have chosen to focus on.

Here are the simple steps to making those changes.

  • Be Present
  • Notice Your Thoughts
  • Do Something You Love Everyday
  • Meditate

Being Present

This is as important to you as it is to anyone you are interacting with. Being present means giving whatever  you are doing your 100% undivided attention. When you are in a conversation, stay totally focused and listen to the other person. Open your heart as you are listening by just breathing green energy into your heart center (in the middle of your chest).

Put away your computer, your mobile phone, etc and give that person the attention they need. If you are speaking with them on the phone, do not take another call, do not play video games on your phone while listening to them, do not respond to text messages, or emails while talking to the other person. It is not possible to give someone else your full attention if you are doing anything else.

Do not interrupt the other person, let them express fully. If you have questions, or disagree with them, instead of attacking, ask questions for clarification, do not assume you understood them fully. Repeat back to them what you heard in your words and ask them if that is what they meant or intended.

Here’s a great example of how much damage can happen when we jump to conclusions. T. Harv Eker shared this story with an audience years ago. As a kid Harv was always quite entrepreneurial and put away his money in a jar that was stored in a cabinet in their kitchen. One day when he went to put his money away he discovered that the jar was gone. While walking passed his parents bedroom, he noticed that the jar was on his fathers night stand.

Harv jumped to the conclusion that his father was steeling his money and accused his father of doing so. They argued and it was never actually settled. The next day the jar was back in the cupboard. For years Harv held anger toward his father for taking his money. Many years later Harv was driving his father somewhere and he decided to tell his father how disappointed he was that his father tried to steel his money. His father, then told him what had actually happened. Harv’s father was very proud of his son and his friends had come over to play poker. His dad had brought the jar out to show his friends how much Harv had saved and when the game got started, he quickly picked up the jar and walked to the closest room (his bedroom) and set it on the night stand without further thought about it.

The point here is that it was 20 or more years that this issue had been bothering Harv and was unresolved, all based on an assumption that wasn’t true.

Noticing Your Thoughts

Pay attention to the prevalent thoughts and beliefs that are driving your day, especially those that are not supportive. Are you constantly saying or thinking things like: I should have done…, or I could have done better at…, what if I had done… this wouldn’t have happened.  If so, start noticing those thoughts and begin reframing them. For example, if you say I should do… ask yourself is that something you want to do, have to do, or feel you should out of obligation. If it is out of obligation, eliminate it, if it is something you really want to do, restate it as I want to accomplish… today.

Another example, if you are saying what if I had done… this wouldn’t have happened. Instead say, I did the best I knew to do at the time, I am human, I am learning and I am growing from each experience.

You may also want to engage a positive attitude partner to reflect for each other by noticing patterns and pointing them out in a loving way. You can learn more about this process here: Positive Attitude Partner



Use the belief replacement process that I teach in my Balanced Energy Book, for fast and effective results. You’ll learn how to discover your underlying core beliefs and how to bridge your beliefs forward to create a stronger more powerful positive belief faster.





Do Something You Love Everyday

Taking time for yourself is the most loving thing you can do, not just for you but for everyone in your life. You see, when you take care of your own needs, you will feel better about yourself and become more loving, understanding and supportive of the people in your life.

I encourage you to make a commitment today to do something just for you everyday. Don’t just make the commitment DO IT!


Sitting quietly even for a few minutes is an important part of letting go of stress. I find that opening your chakras and taking just a few deep breathes can be extremely helpful. Sitting in a lotus position is not important to meditation, what is important is being comfortable, closing you eyes and relaxing. Don’t judge your meditation, just allow it. I have used Binaural Beats, Transcendental Meditation, Guided Imagery and Deep Breathing (just to name a few), and the conclusion I have come to is that what is most important is that you take time to go within even if you only do it for 5 minutes. I like to open my chakras, roll my eyes upward and invite in the divine. Then just allow whatever transpires to be the perfect meditation. If your mind chatter starts, don’t try to stop it, instead allow it to play out and then when ready, refocus your connection to the divine.


If you have questions, comments or suggestions that may help others, please post them in the comments box below. Remember there are probably 100 or more people that have the same question or who may read your comment or suggestion and get great value. I don’t have all the answers, but collectively we can all change the world.

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